Dusk_Shard ([info]dusk_shard) wrote,
@ 2008-03-11 12:19:00
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Entry tags:ashe, basch, full cast, valley of the dead

Valley Of The Dead: Part Three
Title: Valley of the Dead: Chapter 3
Characters/ Pairings: Ashe/ Basch. Full cast + Vossler.
Rating: T
Length: 1312
Notes: In-game so no ending spoilers and chapter's can be read as one-offs.
Summary: Things get off to a very bad start as the group take on Raithwall's Tomb. Ashe fears that Basch's selfless loyalty will cost him his life. Some violence.


Valley of the Dead: Chapter 3



A great cracking and crumbling sounded behind Basch as soon as his foot touched the bridge at the rear of the group. Everyone swung round towards the source as one, weapons at the ready and nerves on edge.

The great statue at the start of the bridge appeared to come to life before them, ripping itself from the golden stone it was carved to. It's many legs clawed at the bridge, inching itself slowly but surely towards them.

"Fight or run? Better decide fast!" Vaan yelled from the front.

"To the door, Vaan!" Basch shouted, sending the group running along the bridge. They hurtled through the gigantic double doors only to stagger to a halt, staring at the same view they saw if they looked behind them.

Only the Knights kept their pace, swords raised. "We'll have to fight this one!" Vossler roared over his shoulder. "Destroy it before it can flatten us!"

Their footsteps echoed loudly around the great hall as they sprinted across the bridge to the second Demon Wall, already a good way across the long bridge. Basch reached it first and drove his great sword into the creature with all his strength. The rock of it was easier to penetrate than he had thought from appearance, he almost fell into the creature.

The others began hacking at it's many clawing legs, not having weapons large enough to deal enough damage to the rest of it. Penelo danced aggressively with her daggers. Her strikes were perfect and accurate, slicing leg after leg to the ground. Ashe fought beside Basch and Vossler, aiming for the creatures arms and neck with their long swords.

It was difficult, they had to keep moving slowly back up the bridge to avoid being crushed and the creature clawed at them continuously, it's claws strong and razor sharp. Vossler was knocked forcefully into Vaan and Penelo and Fran was gashed down her leg.

Another great arm swung towards Vossler, who ducked instinctively. Instead it caught up Ashe and tossed her into the air. Basch threw himself in her path, thinking to stop her being cast over the bridge and into the void, but she hit with such force he was knocked off his feet and thrown over the edge with her.

The fall wasn’t as far as the darkness had suggested, they slammed into the ground within seconds. Having fallen backwards with Ashe pinning him down, Basch had no way of breaking his fall. His back struck rock a split second before his head slammed onto the stone with a sickening thud.

The last thing he saw before darkness overwhelmed him was Ashe, safe and unbroken in his arms.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -



Ashe had screamed as she’d fallen but it was nothing like the raw piercing sound that escaped her now. She was surrounded by blood, it seeped out from under them at an alarming rate. Basch did not stir underneath her. Panic clawed at her insides as her Knight didn’t respond at the sound of such distress. She could hear the others still fighting the Demon Wall above her.
Trembling, she shifted her weight off him so she would not make his injuries worse. Her mind stalled in her terror as she knelt instead beside him. She was blinded by the realization that Basch was not invincible- that he was just as breakable as her.

She picked him up gingerly and held him to her chest. Stupid, impulsive, but she didn’t want to lose him. Her hand supporting his head met hot, sticky hair and came away trembling, drenched in red.

She felt the soft brush of warm air at her neck and hope flickered inside her. She couldn’t lay him back down on a cracked skull and she couldn’t lift him. All she could do was yell for Vossler, for Fran, for the Gods, anyone.

The Demon Wall screeched above her and she could hear the others sprinting along to the end of the bridge, and down the steps towards her. Penelo stopped short of them, hand over her mouth. Vossler dropped to his knees in front of her. Ashe realized her face was wet and brushed at her cheeks before she remembered her hands were covered in blood.

“Don’t panic“, Vossler said roughly, examining Basch’s head. “Head wounds bleed much more than normal ones.”

Don’t panic? Don’t panic?! Ashe thought wildly. We can hardly scoop all this blood and pour it back into him! She forced herself to take a deep breath.

“Everyone get your healing spells ready, fast!” Vossler ordered. Ashe looked around thinking of Ethers. “No- your majesty- just hold him up for me. He is in better light where you hold him. Apply pressure here.” He moved her hand on Basch’s head and began to examine the wound. Ashe was glad she couldn’t see the gory details.

As the others raised their arms and gathered their magick’s, Vossler said, “It is as I thought, he’s cracked his skull but it’s not fatal if he has not been drained of blood. The healing spells should work… if they fail we‘ll carry him to the gate crystal and return to Rabanastre. There is no doctor in the Resistance, but there are those who have dealt with injuries such as this.” Ashe watched his face to assess how bad the situation really was, but he seemed to be speaking honestly. Concentration was in his eyes as he worked, cleaning the wound. Holding Basch close and supporting his head, she felt better to feel him warm and breathing softly. His golden eyelashes flickered once and she wondered if he was dreaming, or if he knew his life was leaking down his back and over her arms to the ground. She clutched him tighter.

A ball of green light rushed over Basch from Penelo, followed by more of different hue from the others. Vossler applied some sort of remedy to the wound. As the silence began to stretch and Vossler pulled back blankly from the wound, panic flared in Ashe again. “Why is he not waking up? Has it not worked?”

Vossler gave her a small smile, “It is healed, though he may not wake up straight away. That was a big shock and his body is coping with it.” Ashe saw the others relax around her, sheath their weapons and wipe sweat from their brows.

“Thank the Gods for that,” Balthier said. “No offense but we wouldn’t last five minutes in this place without our slightly suicidal Captain here.” His face was still a little shaken to pull of his smirk. Ashe shot him a disgusted look.

“We ought to find a proper healer we can count on back at the Resistance for in case Ashe or Basch get injured like this again.” Vaan said. “We can’t have them being held in hospital by Imperials, and we can‘t turn up at the door of the Resistance and expect them to drop everything and save a King-slayer… ”

Vossler simply nodded. “We should wake him. He may have a concussion.”

Ashe slackened her hold on Basch, slightly apprehensive because of the last time she’d woken him up. Vossler chuckled darkly, seeming to read her mind and taking away Basch’s sword. “I doubt he’ll have the energy, Ashe.”

The others pulled out water and potions and tended to their own injuries. Ashe blushed, realizing Basch would wake up in her arms, possibly wondering how he’d gotten there.

Repressing a smile, she put her lips to his ear and whispered his name.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -



- Getting better, no? Well I actually had a rough plan before I wrote this one, which probably helped a lot *headdesk* Comments highly appreciated!
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[info]demonas_rogue
2008-03-13 05:40 am UTC (link)
I adore fight scenes. I find well written ones to be quite enthralling, and I enjoyed yours.

You know, for a second I got the impression of Vossler/Ashe. It was towards the beginning, though I may be reading too much into certain lines.

What else...well as far as plans go, I have to warn you stories can take their own form. I'm learning from my own fic that what I previously thought was a linear story arc is much more complicated.

It could be a bad or good thing, lol!

As for your storyline, I really like how it fits nicely against the video game storyline, with lines from the scenes inserted into the story.

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[info]dusk_shard
2008-03-13 03:41 pm UTC (link)
Me too! This is the first time I've tried to write anything involving a fight. The next chapter will have a more intense one, but I won't give anything else away ;)

Oh really? Any lines in particular? I do enjoy the thought of them being close from Ashe's two years with him, though they don't seem to have much chemistry in the game..

Yeah.. I never really had a plan for this one before I started, it was just to warm up and practice writing to be honest. The title "Valley Of The Dead" pretty much limits it to this part of the game so it'll have to end sometime soon. Probably as soon as I feel confident enough to move onto something bigger. I really want to find an idea for a humorous full-cast fic.

:) I really like reading fics from during the game. I'm reading an absolutely FANTASTIC one at the moment that deals with a mixture of post and after game and it's so good I don't want to write anything other than in-game. Plus, I like the group being together as a whole, and I'm terrible of thinking up story lines ;P Have you read this amazing Bashe one: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3836754/1/True_Feelings? It's very long and currently has 12 chapters. It's so good it feels like the 'official' story..

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[info]demonas_rogue
2008-03-14 11:03 pm UTC (link)
No, I haven't, but I will now!

Thanks for the recommendation.

ETA - New Layout = Sexy Men :D

Edited at 2008-03-14 11:04 pm UTC

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[info]dusk_shard
2008-03-15 12:40 pm UTC (link)
Oh you should, it's amaaazing. So good. I'm addicted. It's also so good it's distressing! Get your tissues ready is all I'm gonna say ;_;

XDDD I love the new layout if I may so so myself!! *Squees madly at hot knights in armour*

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[info]aeralis_rising
2008-03-16 11:11 pm UTC (link)
She was blinded by the realization that Basch was not invincible, that he was just as breakable as her.

Absolutely love that line.

There are some minor grammar errors, but they didn't disrupt the flow of reading too much.

It was nice seeing the battle with the Demon Wall in written form. Vaan's line made me lol everytime I played that part. I had to hear it a lot since I could not get that first one killed easily.

But anyway...

Your characterization of Basch and Ashe are good, but since they are POV characters I would push it even further. There are some wonderful insights like, "The last thing he saw before darkness overwhelmed him was Ashe, safe and unbroken in his arms." More thoughts like that from Basch would be great, especially since they are much more frequent in Ashe's POV.

Fic is very natural to read. If you hadn't said, I wouldn't have known you were new at it.

Looking forward to the next chapter.



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[info]dusk_shard
2008-03-16 11:23 pm UTC (link)
<3 thankyou

Ugh yeah, I've never been great with grammer sorry :S it would be great if you could correct me :)

lol! I didn't bother with the first- I did what these guys did and ran straight for the second one! I'm a pansy.

Thanks! Um- what does POV mean? *blush* Yeah you have a good point- there'll be more like that in the next chapter because it's Basch-centric instead of Ashe like the last two.

Ah thanks! That means a lot :) I'm doing my best to get better! I still cringe at the first two chapters!

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[info]aeralis_rising
2008-03-17 12:09 am UTC (link)
Actually, I'm quite horrible at grammar, but I've been trying to pay more attention to it.

It's basically comma errors. If you have two complete thoughts, you need to use a coordinating conjunction between them (and, so, but, etc), and place a comma before it.

If you don't have a conjunction, use a semicolon.

For example, in your cut link, "Basch was not invincible; he was just as breakable as her."

I fought the first Demon Wall for the sword. It made Basch uber powerful for a long time.

Apologies, POV is Point of View. It's like whose eyes the reader is seeing the story through. It's one of the most important things because each character's personality is going to color the situation differently.

No worries, the first two chapters aren't cringe worthy. In particular the scene with Ashe and Basch in Chapter 2 was very well done. I'm not holding you to a low standard or anything, but I've read much worse. Keep at it ^^


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[info]dusk_shard
2008-03-17 12:43 am UTC (link)
Oh, thanks, that should help a lot in future! I know how annoying it can be when you spot mistakes and get distracted.

Oh I had no idea you got a sword for doing it! Argh.

Ah I see... we don't use abbreviations much here. Yeah I've noticed that people often switch POV between charcters whenever they feel like it and it's a sneaky way of adding depth, but not very professional! I try not to do it but probably slip up.

Thanks, that's good to hear :)

I meant to write the next chapter today but ended up making another big batch of icons instead *headdesk*

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[info]dusk_shard
2008-03-17 12:45 am UTC (link)
God I've just noticed how much I abuse commas *__*

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[info]aeralis_rising
2008-03-17 12:57 am UTC (link)
A lot of people do (myself included). I'm an English major now so I try to be more conscious of that. It didn't bother me though.

Switching POV is fine as long as it's indicated clearly. A large line break, asterisks, new chapter, whatever. I'm writing a novel with 7 POVs right now. Consistency is the key.

And yeah, you get a sword. But since it's FFXII, there was like a 1 and 1,000,000 chance of getting it from a chest. The other 999,999 times you got a pebble, or something equally useless ^^

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[info]dusk_shard
2008-03-17 01:04 am UTC (link)
I think I remember being corrected at school a few million times for not using commas properly but I always thought she meant apostraphes. lol! At least you explained it to me!

Oh yeah, don't get me wrong I'm a big fan of changes in POV, I just meant something like having the POV as one character and writing what another is thinking etc.

I see... I love and hate that about ffxii. I sold Balthier's first gun as soon as I could give him a different weapon and I swear it's ruled out almost all guns from being found or bought during the game.

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[info]tiptoe39
2008-04-06 05:36 pm UTC (link)
I don't know this fandom, but I enjoyed this story a lot. Thanks for visiting my line!post meme, by the way.

OK, your promised five lines:

Penelo danced aggressively with her daggers.

I don't know this character but I do know I would like her a whole lot better at a distance than up close. :D Sounds like a helluva char. And fighting/dancing is such a great contrast and really picks up on the speed with which dagger fights can go.

She was blinded by the realization that Basch was not invincible- that he was just as breakable as her.

Through this line I get a sense of not only both these characters but their relationship, and how such a realization affects her, especially. I'm sure if I knew them better it would seem even more poignant.

Ashe realized her face was wet and brushed at her cheeks before she remembered her hands were covered in blood.

I love liquid imagery, and tears/blood is such a great combo. I have this image of Ashe trying to quell her own panic only to have it escalated, just like trying to clean her face only makes it the more dirty.

His golden eyelashes flickered once and she wondered if he was dreaming, or if he knew his life was leaking down his back and over her arms to the ground.

To be more specific I loved the idea of one's life leaking away, that's a great way to phrase it. And her scattered thoughts - is he dreaming? does he know he's bleeding? - ring very true.

Repressing a smile, she put her lips to his ear and whispered his name.

So much promise and potential and guh in this last line. Helluva place to leave it. :-)

Thanks for linking to your fic & keep writing!

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[info]navi_glow
2008-04-06 06:00 pm UTC (link)
Gah your the best! *hugs* thanks for that! It made me really happy that you liked it!

This was really really helpful- I wish people would do this more often!!

Oh and Basch wasn't dreaming, he was struggling to wake because he subconsciously knew something was badly wrong!

I wrote that last line and suddenly knew to cut it there ;)

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